Connection: Core Need #3

“There is a common centre in each of us where me meet at a deeper level, … the point at which we converge, …  the ambiance in which we float.” (Teilhard de Chardin*) 


I am particularly attracted to the last image, “the ambiance in which we float.” That compliment was paid to my dance partner recently, “It looked like you were floating.” Yes! Nailed it.

So how do we create an ambiance in which to float on the dance floor? Or to rephrase it in the language of this blog series, “How do we really connect?’


Connection is the deepest need we have as humans. We were not created to be alone or to exist in isolation, (a la John Donne, “No man (sic) is an island ….”) In fact we only learn what it means to be human and who we are as valued, loved individuals by participating in the exchange of attention and affection. This happens first with our parents and subsequently expands outward through social interaction. 

It is in moving out into the broader human community that an experience like dancing the Tango can be so beneficial. Many dances you can do as an individual; Tango requires that you find that point of convergence with your partner and the dance. 

Tango is special among the partner dances because it requires such a deep level of conscious connection.  One must be attuned at all times not only to the outer dance: the music, the steps, your partner’s positioning, but also to your inner dance: what is going on inside, what is the emotional connection, what are your fears and anxieties, what brings pleasure and satisfaction.

Heartfelt Embrace

The Tango embrace can be understood as heart to heart alignment. The challenge is to maintain this alignment while performing complex maneuvers which threaten to separate you energetically from your partner.

To accomplish this requires not only technical proficiency but also bringing to your dance the relational attributes of gentleness, receptivity, responsiveness, trust, sensitivity, vulnerability, patience, atunement. One must open one’s heart, even to the extent of reverencing your partner. 

When we are fully present to and connect with the dance, our partner and ourselves, there results a nurturing at a soul level. We experience not only the pleasure and delight that comes from co-creating something of beauty but we become immersed in an awarene of divine Presence.

*(Teilhard de Chardin was one of the major minds of the 20th century and made significant contributions both to paleontology and Christian theology.) 

Photo credit: Our back garden peace rose continues to enthrall every morning. Nature seems to take limitless delight in fashioning beauty. ADV 13/09/19.